With the Words of Affirmation Love Language, individuals tend to feel loved when they receive compliments from their partner. Verbalizing your love with words has a large very impact for them. Statements like “I’m grateful you...”, “I appreciate that you…”, and “I love how you…” will help you partner feel loved if their primary love language is words of affirmation. If this is your partner's love language, try telling them things you appreciate about them and compliment them often. (Wondering about the difference between primary and secondary love languages?? Click here to learn more.)
The key is showing your appreciation for your partner through words. This does not always have to be verbalizing it in person—hand written cards and notes will have the same impact as long as you are sharing your appreciations for your partner. When you partner’s love language is words of affirmation, they long to know what makes them special and unique to you. Make sure to tell them about why you find them special and why you love them. This will make their heart soar!
Individuals whose love language is words of affirmation tend to be very aware of the details of other peoples lives. They will notice if you did something different and will usually remember the details of your previous conversations and ask follow up questions when they see you next. They tend to be very encouraging and notice the unique details of others. If this is your partner’s love language, they are longing for you to notice the details of their life, ask follow up questions about how things have gone, and provide verbal encouragement and support.
Speaking the “Words of Affirmation” Love Language
Things to Avoid in the Words of Affirmation Language
Since words carry so much weight for the person whose love language is words of affirmation, negative blaming and criticism words have a powerfully negative impact. Just as positive words have an impact, the negative do too. They will be very hurt and wounded by negative and critical comments. You’ll want to avoid:
We all need love relationship to thrive in life. Part of having love relationships is knowing how to show love to others in a way that they will receive. For someone whose love language is words of affirmation, telling them how much you care for, appreciate, and love them helps them feel full and confident in your love. They need to understand why they are important to you.
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Elizabeth Polinsky, MSW, LCSW, is a marriage and couple therapist specializing in working with military members, veterans, and their families. Liz is located in Norfolk, Virginia, and provides online counseling services throughout Virginia, South Carolina, and Arkansas. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker Virginia (#0904011022), South Carolina (#11302), and Arkansas (#7735-C). She is also licensed as a Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy in Virginia (#0730000567) under the supervision of Dr. Victoria Holroyd at The Relationship Center at East Beach.
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In Communicate & Connect For Military Relationships, I provide educational tips for relationships, communication, and navigating military family life.