IN THIS PODCAST
1. Dr. Rev. Clyde Angel is a veteran, and retired Veterans Affairs Chaplain; he worked as a mental health chaplain, was a Chief Chaplain, and was the national program coordinator for the Warrior to Soulmate program for veteran couples to work on communication. He is a lIcensed professional counselor and has done individual counseling for PTSD, spirituality, and veteran couples.
It really does come down to communication…Listening is the key to communication”. -- Dr. Rev. Clyde Angel
2. Bonding is a combination of emotional openness and physical closeness with another person. It is a biological need. We can fulfill all of our other biological needs except for bonding--this is the only one where we need someone else to help us meet that need. Learning how to bond and become close to someone else is an important part of communication process especially when one partner has experienced a traumatic event.
The number one spiritual wound of trauma is shattered trust.”
3. It is important to remember that you can love the person even when you don’t like their behaviors. Love is a choice and you can't make someone love someone. But when people say they aren’t “in-love” is that they aren't feeling the motion of love. I often help couples refocus on what behaviors are causing problems in the relationship and ask partners for a specific behavior change.
One of the great wounds of life is feeling unheard”. -- Dr. Rev. Clyde Angel
7. The next thing for improving relationships is forgiveness. Spirituality is about purpose and meaning--why am I here and what is life all about? With forgiveness there are a lot of mixed messages. It is impossible to forgive and forget. We don't forget our physical wounds. Emotional and spiritual wounding is something we remember because it hurts. Forgiving is much more about making peace with the past. Forgiveness is the glue of a relationship.
9. Moral injury is a spiritual injury. Spirituality has to do with life's meaning and purpose, but also about how we connect to others. Trauma shatters our spiritual formation and trust, and leaves a wound in how we view ourselves and who we are. Self-forgiveness is needed for healing this injury--for some this may mean sharing the story with someone you trust.
Words of Wisdom from Dr. Rev. Clyde Angel:
Liz's Useful Links:
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Thanks for Listening!
Elizabeth Polinsky, MSW, LCSW, is a marriage and couple therapist specializing in working with military members, veterans, and their families. Liz is located in Norfolk, Virginia, and provides online counseling services throughout Virginia, South Carolina, and Arkansas. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker Virginia (#0904011022), South Carolina (#11302), and Arkansas (#7735-C). She is also licensed as a Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy in Virginia (#0730000567) under the supervision of Dr. Victoria Holroyd at The Relationship Center at East Beach.
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The Communicate & Connect Podcast
In Communicate & Connect For Military Relationships, I provide educational tips for relationships, communication, and navigating military family life.