Ever wonder how relationships go wrong? Have you experienced confusion about how things changed in your marriage? Have you felt stuck with constant miscommunications and relationship tension?
In this podcast episode, Elizabeth Polinsky discusses 5 reasons why relationships go wrong.
IN THIS PODCAST
We compare ourselves to others without actually knowing what their relationships are like. However, we only see the front of others' relationships--we don't see what is actually going on. Additionally, societal messages teach us that relationships should look perfect.
Even at the grocery store we’re hearing ‘theres something wrong with your relationship’, ‘no ones going to want you if you don’t look a certain way or have sex a certain way or talk and communicate a certain way’.”
There is a lack of education, role models, and good advice on relationships.
There is no education in school on happy and healthy relationships and people often do not have good relationship role models.”
93% of communication is tone of voice & body language--only 7% is what you actually say. No wonder there are miscommunications! Only 7% of your words get a cross to someone else. We all need to learn to make our body language and tone of voice consistent with our words for greater success at communication.
We repeat self-protective patterns which prevent emotional closeness and connection in relationships. People push their partners away and shut down when they are hurt, or they become critical and demanding. These are emotional self protection behaviors. What is needed to move forward is vulnerability and kindness.
In order to have healthy happy relationships, both partners need to feel safe to be vulnerable and be able to respond with kindness when their partner is vulnerable.”
Life stress is a b*tch. Mental illness, financial struggles, deployment, and life transition cause more stress. When there is more stress for couples, it typically increase miscommunications leading to differences in sex drive and decreases relationship satisfaction.
As you go about your day over the next few days, try to notice all the images of relationships and see what the societal messages are--TV, movies, tabloids, etc. See if you see the 1) this is perfect and 2) yours isn’t good enough messages.
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Thanks for Listening!
Elizabeth Polinsky, MSW, LCSW, is a marriage and couple therapist specializing in working with military members, veterans, and their families. Liz is located in Norfolk, Virginia, and provides online counseling services throughout Virginia, South Carolina, and Arkansas. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker Virginia (#0904011022), South Carolina (#11302), and Arkansas (#7735-C). She is also licensed as a Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy in Virginia (#0730000567) under the supervision of Dr. Victoria Holroyd at The Relationship Center at East Beach.
My podcast, blogs, newsletters, and products are general information for educational purposes only; they are not psychotherapy and not a replacement for therapy. The information provided does not constitute the formation of a therapist-patient relationship. You should consult your doctor or mental health provider regarding advice and support for your health and well being. I cannot answer questions regarding your specific situation. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, you should call 911, report to your local ER, or call the National Crisis Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Nothing I post should be considered professional advice. The information in my blog posts and newsletters is not intended to be therapy or psychological advice. The blog posts and newsletters are not a request for a testimonial, rating, or endorsement from clients regarding counseling. If you are a current or former client/ patient, please remember that your comments may jeopardize your confidentiality. I will not “friend” or “follow” current or past clients to honor ethical boundaries and privacy; nor will I respond to comments or messages through social media from current or past clients. Current and past client’s should only contact me through the professional contact information provided on the website. Lastly, accounts may be managed by multiple people. Therefore, comments and messages are monitored by staff and are not confidential.
The Communicate & Connect Podcast
Launching Sept. 2020
In Communicate & Connect For Military Relationships, I provide educational tips for relationships, communication, and navigating military family life.